12 (Not Real but Amazing) Christmas Gifts for Poker Players

Poker players are tricky to shop for. It’s tough to buy something that players need, since the equipment is already provided.

But thanks to GipsyTeam’s completely fictional list of gifts for poker players, you’ll have plenty of fantastic gift options. Forget last minute runs to the shop to pick out presents they won’t like—we’ve got you covered.

Stainless Steel “One-Time” Request Card

Most players ask for their one time out-loud, but that’s old-school and ineffective. Why not put some power behind your request to the poker gods by slapping down your stainless steel One-Time request card?

Many fictional studies show that using a One-Time card can increase your chances of hitting one outers by up to 32.6%. Did your shove get called? Need to hit that gutshot straight draw to keep your tournament life? Set over set and need to hit quads? This Christmas gift will be your salvation.

The best part is, the One-Time card is yours for life. Because of the durable stainless steel construction and embossed lettering, it’s here to stay.

RTA Glasses

Real Time Assistance (RTA) is super-popular this year. Top professionals like Nacho Barbero and Enony Kenny are already onboard, and if you’re not using RTA yet, then you’re living in the past.

But sometimes, you don’t want followers on social media complaining about “unfair advantages,” and we’ve got the answer. RTA Glasses put you in the driver seat, without anyone knowing. Everyone will think you’ve got the skills of Phil Ivey on adderall, while you’re following charts right in front of your eyes.

Swap from preflop through to the river charts by clicking the small button beside the right lens, and watch your profits soar. RTA Glasses even come in tortoiseshell for the sophisticated cheaters.

The Mike Postle Jockstrap

After the scandal at Stones Casino, many players have been looking to optimize Postle’s approach. Crotch Theory Optimal (CTO) is the new meta, but holding your phone with your hands or legs is only for beginners.

Go hands-free and get to know your opponents’ cards during the game with the Mike Postle Jockstrap this holiday season. It’s the only jockstrap with a built-in phone holder, so you’re free to sip drinks, shuffle chips, and act like you’re not cheating for the entire session.

How do I connect to my Bluetooth bone-conduction hat, you ask? A few taps on your well-positioned phone, and you'll be able to sync the devices.

The Mike Postle Jockstrap comes in three sizes and has a breathable design, because your opponents are the only ones who should be sweating.

Cheater’s Bible of Excuses

Ever been caught reading your opponents' cards off a screen, exposed for ghosting a GGMillion$, or accidentally dropped your range chart as you tipped a waiter? It can be difficult to know what to say in these situations, but not after this Christmas.

Apologizing or owning up to cheating in poker is an old-school, outdated approach. Pick up the Cheater’s Bible of Excuses this holiday season, and find the words to escape those tricky spots.

Choose from the Cheater’s Bible of Excuses best lines, like:

• “Who put that range chart in my pocket?”
• “I wasn’t looking at your cards, I was smelling the table.”
• “Everyone cheats, so it’s fine.”
• “It’s my first game, I didn’t know using GTO Wizard wasn’t allowed.”

Christoph Vogelsang Starter Pack

Tired of opponents seeing into your soul and picking up tells? After this Christmas season, that problem’s in the past.

Your personality can be your undoing at the poker table, so get rid of it completely with the Christoph Vogelsang starter pack. It includes a 5cm thick cotton hoodie with a full wraparound face covering, plus oversized reflective sunglasses.

At the next cash game or tournament, nobody will know what you’re thinking, where you’re looking, or even who you are. Deny their reads, and deny yourself safe levels of oxygen this year with the Christoph Vogelsang Starter pack.

Range Chart Bedsheets and Pillow Cases

To truly achieve success in poker, you’ve got to be focused on the game day and night. This Christmas, savvy players can count combos instead of sheep with Range Chart Bedsheets.

Swap between the charts you need every time you need clean sheets. With a high thread count and matching pillowcases, your bed will be softer than one of those Celebrity Poker Tour games with Hawk Tuah.

For your loved ones, consider the premium package. This upgrade features raised combos, making great hands like AA, KK, and J4 offsuit stand out to the touch for faster memorization.

Zen Garden Card Protector

Amateurs use tokens, figurines, and commemorative chips to protect their cards, but that’s last year’s meta. With the Zen Garden Card Protector, nobody will question your composure and your raises will be respected.

Measuring 4cm by 4cm and full of the finest California beach sand, rake your zen garden and let your opponents know you’ve got unbreakable composure.

Use the Zen Garden Card Protector anytime you need to think over a tough decision, calm those nerves during a risky bluff, or need to ignore the waiter when they ask for a tip.

Doug Polk Magic 8 Ball

Wouldn’t you be more successful as a player if you had a professional’s wisdom at your disposal? This Christmas, bring Doug Polk to your next poker game.

With the Doug Polk Magic 8 Ball, the knowledge of the world’s best cash game player is with you at all times. Unsure about your next move? Good news—Doug isn’t. Just give your Doug Polk Magic 8 Ball a shake, and instantly, your confusion will vanish.

Get insightful directions like:

• “You could go either way with this one”
• “I like all options in this spot”
• “I see merit in checking, calling, raising, or folding”
• “Yes”
• “Use Code DOUG”

3-Pack of Used Masks from Ike Haxton

With over $60 million in live earnings, every poker player aspires to be like Ike Haxton. But what if you could breathe like Ike Haxton too?

Pick up pre-used masks straight off the face of Ike, and this Christmas, you’ll be one step closer to playing like him. While not as effective as Christoph Vogelsang’s Starter Pack for hiding tells, these masks will cover up to 40% of your face from spectators. As an added benefit, you’ll be much safer from the spread of COVID and other viruses.

Each mask has been professionally breathed into by Ike Haxton over multiple hours, and smells like a millionaire. Scents vary depending on which beverages and meals Ike had over the day, so each one is special.

Pre-Marked and Bent Decks of Cards

Poker is a game of limited information, but that’s why marking cards is so effective to a player’s win rate. Start off 2026 with all the facts, by buying pre-marked bent cards for your next home game.

After you memorize what the marks and bends mean, you’ll be unstoppable. It’s like having x-ray vision, except far less expensive and far more noticeable. But, for about 5-minutes, your friends probably won’t notice the pre-crumpled Aces or the deep scratches on Broadway cards.

For best results, the card manufacturer recommends turning the lights down low, or playing by candlelight.

One Haircut from Mario Mosböck’s Barber

If you can’t move up to stakes where they respect your raises, at least get a haircut your opponents respect. For a limited time over the holidays, get a transformative haircut from Mario Mosböck’s Barber and start looking professional (even if you’re far from it).

Each haircut includes an herbal shampoo, olive oil conditioning treatment, and styling. Instead of thinking about your range, get your opponents thinking about how fantastic your hair looks and smells. While you’re focused on the game and brushing luscious locks out of your eyes, they’ll be stunned by your majestic mane.

For the VIP players, Mario is also offering a special service. He’ll choose one of the vowels in your last name and place two dots over it, instantly boosting your mystique and making everyone wonder how to pronounce your surname.

Wardrobe Makeover from LLinusLLove (Shirts Only)

We don’t even have to ask who the best-dressed player in live poker is, because you already know. LLinusLLove’s shirts capture the attention of the poker world, and hypnotize opponents into countless blunders.

This Christmas, get a full wardrobe makeover from the god of cash games and come out the other side looking like a new player. You’ll go from boring and forgettable to silky and superb overnight. You’ll

This is the most expensive of the 12 gifts on our list, so you’ll have to be bankrolled to afford it. But once you’ve drained your savings, get ready for all the attention you can handle.

Real Poker Rewards to Get Yourself This Christmas

Of course, nothing on the list above is real, even though we wish they were. But you’re not out of luck, because Christmas and New Years is a huge time for online poker.

We’re hosting $3,500 in freerolls with CoinPoker on December 28th and 29th, giving away merchandise, and paying for wins with 2-6 (to commemorate 2026). Sign up on the page below, and hop into the games with us before New Years.

Check our full list of poker promotions for Christmas and New Years for even more rewards.