In a very honest and open moment, Brad Owen wrote a lengthy Twitter post about his mental health. It's already picked up around 270,000 views, ~500 comments, and 2,600 likes.
It reads like he's near a breaking point, but also a moment of clarity.
He's what Brad wrote on Twitter:
I just need to vent a little bit, otherwise I feel like I'm going to completely lose what I like about myself...
I'm up about a million lifetime in poker, but it's not that much over the course of 20+ years. I'm down $400k from the high point before the 2024 WSOP started. I've only had one complete losing year (last year), but I'm down $100k this year already, and I feel like I'm losing my identity and a failure if I don't turn things around soon, especially if I'm not as open about it as I can be about the tough times.
I've done pretty much everything in poker except win a major title, so I've torched money in mixed games trying to get better and learn/play with the best in small field large buy-in events. This is where the overwhelming majority of the $400k downswing has come from, and it's really not that many buy-ins when I'm playing high stakes events, but I need to talk about it somewhere since there are no vlogs of these sessions. I can always just quit and go back to cash where wins are consistent and easier, but it's enjoyable for me to push myself and I don't want to give up just yet even though it would certainly be better for my mental well-being.
I put an insane amount of pressure on myself to try to be the best dad, significant other, poker player, content creator, ambassador, etc. that I can be. It's tough to ever escape or take a break because I fear that if I turn off the machine, even for a short time, I might not be able to turn it on again. There aren't a ton of people who can relate to what I have going on – maybe just 2 or 3 partially and 1 of them WPT made what I consider to be a massive mistake by parting ways with, which leads to me feeling very isolated and just generally not having nearly as much fun as I used to in the poker world. I don't know how much time I have left in this space before I get too burnt out. Time with my family is what makes me the most happy and I don't get to be with them or be there for them quite as much as I would like. My health is deteriorating as well and I just can't keep up at the pace I've been at the last several years even though there are plenty of reasons to keep churning out videos as frequently as I can.
I'm incredibly fortunate to be in the situation I'm in. I love being on the WPT team – I don't agree with all of the decisions, but typically they do a lot of cool things for poker and I'm in the position to be able to lose $10ks and not have it affect my life at all. I'm living the dream and my 15 year old self wouldn't believe that I actually made it in the poker industry – I'm on the same f***ing team as Ivey!! Most days I'm super grateful and appreciative. Some days I just want to burn everything I've built down because I feel like a fraud and don't feel like I deserve any of it. None of what I do is that hard or that important and if I started making vlogs in the current climate, I'd likely get lost in the shuffle and wouldn't be nearly as successful.
I don't like where some things are headed. I hate YouTube shorts. I hate AI voiceovers. I hate that a lot of people are promoting the game in a way that I don't think is healthy for younger people to see because the approach is that they're content creators first trying to do the most exciting thing and not the most responsible thing. I'm contributing to that now, and it's easy for me to justify blasting off in certain spots to hopefully make an interesting video and achieve certain goals I had when I was a first fell in love with poker in the early 2000s (like winning a bracelet or WPT), but I guess this tweet is my attempt to try to make things slightly better.
It actually hurts me to see top level players like Jeremy Ausmus, Seth Davies, and even Chidwick to some extent, make poker content on YouTube/Twitter/Instagram. Nearly all of the poker content, especially from these guys is objectively good for poker, but vlogs used to be something that most top guys shit all over and now we're seeing them with stands and cameras at the table because the major poker companies don't give the best players ambassador roles anymore. I 100% benefit from it – I'm like win the lottery and get struck by lightning on the same day lucky. I just miss how things were back in the heyday and I'd like to see more opportunities for the guys I look up to in the industry – the guys who have actually accomplished a lot on the felt. Also, I hate that Kalshi sponsors the Lodge livestream and I think some gum company does as well that just has nothing to do with poker. It feels weird and even there we've strayed from what made that place special, but I'm optimistic we're going to right the ship. I wish I was there more to help make that happen.
One of the few things I'm proud of myself for recently is turning down the opportunity to promote the side gambling games that Gold offers, which would've made me a lot more money. If I didn't do that I would've felt like I've sold out completely. I have no issues promoting poker because I'm an example of someone who's been successful at it, whereas if people are betting/gambling in things they have no shot at winning in the long-run – I just can't be a part of it and don't want to promote it.
Let's see what else...
Andrew Neeme should be in the poker hall of fame for revolutionizing poker in two massive ways – meet up games and vlogging, which has inspired more poker players than almost everything in the last few decades.
WSOP needs to move its Bahamas event to January and stop giving out so many online bracelets.
I don't know how you guys don't dislike shameless promotions more.
I know that I should get a therapist, and I will likely regret tweeting this
🔥🔥🔥
The poker world was instantly engaged. Fellow YouTubers and professionals responded.
Garrett Adelstein: Hell of a post, to say the least. I related deeply to most of what you said—and am guilty of plenty of the rest of it.
Maria Ho: Thank you for being so vulnerable and open. I think that social media is so often used as a tool for self-promotion or as a highlight reel, but I think your friends, followers, and fans benefit the most from you sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings. Playing poker for a living and the uncertainty and self-doubt that inevitably come with it when certain things are out of your control, despite your best efforts, requires a ton of mental fortitude. I am always rooting for you!
KMart: Thanks for sharing, man. Really needed this, sometimes I have a similar inner moulage.
Matt Savage: You're a good man Brad, and it has been a real pleasure working with you at the WPT. Thank you for all you have done for the game and your fans.
Tony Dunst: Have no idea if you’re the best content creator in poker but you gotta be the most authentic. You’ve inspired many people in this game, and guys like you and Andrew Neeme are why vlogging is the draw it is.
Johnnie Vibes: Balancing everything you have on your plate sounds impossible. All things considered I think you’re crushing it. You got this 💪🏼
Gary Blackwood: You're the man Brad. Never forget it.
Victoria Livschitz: The poker world is lucky to have you. Thanks for sharing!
Felipe Mojave Ramos: It's almost a miracle to keep it genuine, not a fake social media/ambassador and speak your mind in todays world. The biggest downfalls come shortly after you recognize how bad is/could be literally everything you can't control, but the biggest findings come right after this exercise. You should be proud of your journey and aim to always reconnect and follow your purpose 📿
Brian Hastings: You deserve your success because you are an authentic, kind person ❤️
Others did more than just a paragraph of support, and delved deeply into the issues with social media and the poker YouTuber lifestyle.
One such reply came from Phil Galfond:
Great post, Brad.
I also don't love how powerful social media incentives are – how much they dictate who actually sees your content. I was posting on X very regularly for a while but gave it up, in large part because I didn't enjoy any of it.
I do think it's possible to be yourself within whatever medium you're communicating through, but there's the not-as-much-you wrapping that "should" go around it. At least long-form content like vlogs (and posts like these) can be more genuine and transparent.
You mentioned feeling like a fraud. You might be surprised how common that is. Impostor syndrome is experienced by almost all of the poker players I talk to in some form or another.
And specifically with you – your impact on poker, along with Andrew's, has been huge. As I'm sure you know, poker was in steep decline after Black Friday because nobody wanted to create or air poker content on TV. It wasn't until people on social media, largely YouTube, showed themselves playing the game – you and Andrew most of all – that poker began growing again, and a new generation started showing up at events.
Of course, you can want to be the best player you can be. It's also true that someone who doesn't have non-playing responsibilities and non-playing income is in a much better position to improve more quickly. But as far as your success and your place in the poker world – it's as well-earned as anybody's.
Thank you for sharing. You'll have meaningfully helped some people with this post that you'll never even learn of.
Good luck turning things around this year.
Beriuzy also went the extra mile with his reply:
Brad we never really chatted much other than basic banter on the table.
I always knew you were a good person. You can tell from your VLOGs & Michael confirmed it's really you 😂I just want to thank you so much for this post. It feels like the north star in the current climate.
Brad replied:
Thanks man, this post was partially inspired by you being so transparent. Hopefully I can replicate the bounce back.
Also, when I was on the fence about whether or not to promote those side gambling games, it was a conversation I had with Mike that helped push me in the right direction although there’s no way he’d know that was something that was on my mind at the time. Thanks POKERfilms.
And Beriuzy agreed:
Michael is our compass
Had similar conversations with him too. Just so clear how important it is for us to take a stand against those tactics to force us to promote things we hate.
This downswing is just temporary; there is no bounce back because you never went down anyway 🫡
