On the first page, Wes Cutshall shows reviews from some big names in poker.

Jamie Staples proclaimed it a "stunning display of all the worst poker skills in one" and went on to call it "A masterpiece."

Brad Owen said, "You'll get torched playing like this. I highly recommend this book."

Kevin Martin offered neutral words. “When I first met Wes it was clear he was an amateur player. Now after knowing him for years, he still seems to be an amateur player. Now he wrote a book about it.”

We're talking about How To Play Poker Line a Complete Amateur, written by Wes Cutshall. He can be seen on live streams playing low and mid-stakes cash games, even making an appearance beside Phil Hellmuth. He calls himself an amateur player and business owner.

This is a book you'd read for laughs and then try to forget during your next poker session. It's a completely satirical book about poker, with 21 chapters on different things to enjoy (but not follow).

This book could be retitled, "Fears of an Amateur Poker Player". It plays on the worries and missteps of amateurs, repackaging the experience as a satirical how-to. We were all horrible poker players at one point, at least for a few games. For that reason, this book is quite relatable, and may even be nostalgic for some.

Here are ten of the best sections of the book, which is available for free online.

  • Ace King is a Drawing Hand

Wes Cutshall rightfully reminds us that "Ace King isn't a pair" and asks a question on the lips of every poker player.

"What exactly are we going to do when we have Ace-King and the flop comes Nine-high and our opponent holds Jack-Ten?"

Even though he's joking, in this section, Cutshall is referring to many of the fears amateurs have playing Ace King. Missing the board and losing whenever they don't make a pair, flipping against pocket pairs, not knowing what to do postflop – it's all there.

  • Pocket Kings Are Ace Magnets

We all know the dread of seeing an Ace on the flop holding two Kings, even if we understand the odds. This section reminds soon-to-be amateurs that "an Ace comes on the flop every time" when you have Kings.

We then get a series of useful visuals that help to drive the point home. The classic situations are all there, from the classic single Ace on the flop, to runner-runner five-of-a-kind.

The good news is that quintuple Aces won't happen in online poker, but who knows about home games.

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  • Making Them Fold Draws

In poker, we often want to keep draws in, getting value from our equity. In How To Play Poker Line a Complete Amateur the author boldly stands against this.

He advises making opponents fold all possible draws on the flop. To do this "bet at least the size of the pot, and sometimes more". It's a truly sensational concept, which Wes says even applies when you have top set on a board. Get those opponents out or risk losing to a flush draw.

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  • Math Is For Chess

Most chess players would probably agree that math doesn't play a huge role in the game beyond adding piece values, but Wes Cutshall begs to differ. He says, "Math is for chess" and has no part in games like Holdem or Omaha. From his perspective, "Poker is a feel game".

Wes' humorous spin is great, but of course, poker is a math game. Whatever level you're at, there's math you can apply. For beginners, a few simple probabilities can go a long way, like the chances of hitting gutshots or flush draws. Next, you could get familiar with different match-ups, like top pair vs open-ender, and so on.

As someone who's played on both sides of the argument, perhaps Magnus Carlsen could tell us if math is for chess.

The highest Elo chess player in the world, Magnus Carlsen, played four-three suited in a live cash game. Here's what Bencb thought about it.

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  • Explaining Your Play

Chapter 14 covers a strategy that we've seen Phil Hellmuth try plenty of times. Instead of keeping an opponent's tell a secret, like Matt Damon in Rounders with Teddy KGB's Oreos, Wes guides readers in another direction.

"Make sure at showdown, when you win a hand, that you explain how you processed all of the information they gave off to make the best decision".

He takes the questionable concept a step further:

"Another way to explain everything is to constantly show your hands when you don’t even go to showdown so that other players will respect your play."

Chapter 14 will get any live poker player on track to amateur status. As if it wasn't good enough already, we get a selection of terms to drop at the tables.

Jiggities = Pocket Jacks
  • How to Tilt

In this chapter, we get some more reverse wisdom on tilting. Amateurs find it easier to become tilted, but this chapter is for those struggling to get into the headspace. It starts by talking about the foundation of any strong feelings of tilt.

"In order to “tilt” you must first start with being results oriented."

Once you start looking at hands based only on the end result, Wes explains to readers how to channel tilt like an amateur. If an opponent sucked out on you on the turn, this is what you should do next:

"Now that you’ve recognized your mistake, not bombing the flop, it’s time to ramp it up with the following hands. If you are dealt any pair on the very next hand you should raise 4-5x the Big Blind and shove on any flop that has an Ace."

Wes also says that when an opponent flops a set on your pocket Jacks, the dealer is to blame. He says sitting out until the dealer switches could be a great idea in this case.

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  • Locking Up a Win

For amateurs to remember this rule, Wes Cutshall has a catchy saying.

"Don't gamble. Scramble".

If you'd prefer something more direct:

"Get out of that card room as soon as you can."

Just like onlookers accused Peter of during the Million Dollar Game 2, cash game players sometimes lock up the win. This means building up a large stack, but instead of staying to play longer, leaving the game with the profits. It's considered bad etiquette by many, but this isn't a book to learn any poker etiquette.

  • Trying to Go Pro

In the final chapter, Wes Cutshall gives a precarious pep talk on becoming a professional poker player.

The author recommends one month of running above EV, "it's time to consider becoming a pro" and deciding which "town full of poker professionals" to move to.

What happens if things don't go smoothly? Don't worry, writes Wes. You need time to adjust, but your opponents may suck out on you a few times before that happens.

Among other useless but funny tidbits, Wes recommends increasing your buy-ins 5-10xand hiring regular massages at the table. Your win rate will suffer, but you're a pro now.

If you'd like to read something more serious, we've written about several highly acclaimed poker books. Check out Jared Tendler's work on the mental side of the game or cover fundamentals with Matthew Janda.

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