We found out from the regulars how often they whine and how these complaints affect their condition.
For some, it seems that whining is a proven way to deal with downswings, while others restrain themselves, not concentrating on the negative and not getting stuck in a labyrinth of despondency and self-pity. The players we talked to were unanimous on one thing – even those who like to whine don't want to listen to other people's complaints.
Roma edRock // t.me/Very Excellent Diary
I rather like to whine. Not to my wife and friends. And I try not to restrain myself.
I whine about how the coffee sucks, that there is no game and never will be, that South American bureaucracy is twice as bad as hell, that the Moon is sandwiched between two hills, that the room is too hot and the laptop is lagging, that a bottle of water costs a dollar twenty, that my head hurts, that the calabash is moldy, that after playing mafia I come home feeling like crap, that a beggar touched my hand, that I almost fell asleep, but then imagined that I forgot my backpack on the subway and woke up in shock (a backpack with water for $1.20!), that from the withdrawal of antidepressants I fall asleep with each closing of my eyelids and wake up with their opening, that I want to go home to St. Petersburg, that anti-inflammatory drugs do not mix comfortably with wine, that all the pizza on the menu is made with Neapolitan dough, that statism has won, that Giurogin is the invention of the devil, that "The Boy's Word" has such a shitty ending, that my whole body hurts after the moshpit, that Vasya Utkin is not in the world, that subscribing to SimpleGTO is the most ridiculous waste of money in the history of mankind, that Thailand has a shitty climate and food, that you always want to sleep, but not before bedtime, that it is impossible to master Spanish perfectly by studying for five minutes a month, that my Uber rating has dropped to 4.99, that neither Valery Syutkin nor Brdz1 perform in Buenos Aires.
– How do you think whining affects your condition?
No way. I am whining and am identical to myself in this process.
– How do you react to other people's whining?
I fucking hate other people's whining.
Oleg Wh1teBaron // t.me/C freeroll up to $ Million Wh1tebaron
Whining is for weaklings. It's for those who are cut off from reality and are not able to accept the game (life) as it is, but the cards love tears, so the method works like clockwork. I try not to do this myself, but other people's whining irritates me.
Mark golowa // t.me/Mark's PLO5 | road to H.S.
For a very long time I built my blog around whining/reflection/analysis of problems. It seemed to me that this expanded my "spiritual working memory" because it was as if I was experiencing everything twice. But it turned out that this leads to the habit of dramatizing everything. Not in the moment, when you simply make the bad things worse, but globally, when you get a kick out of riding the waves of experiences. This becomes the norm and you begin to more often fall into a state of sweet howling about your problems just for the sake of someone noticing it instead of doing something about these problems. It reminded me of a sketch from Kevin Hart where he talks about rape in the metaverse – why endure it when you can just turn off the device? But we often choose the position of the victim, because we become dependent on sweet words of support.
That being said, I think whining is a very important tool. Many of us are surrounded by a competitive environment where basic standards are very high, and we must constantly strive somewhere and solve a large number of problems. In general, it's easy to get tired and burn out, so it's important to have close people around who are ready to listen to your whining. Not everyone knows how to ask for help, but a sensitive friend will always be able to understand what's wrong with his brother and help him cope with the problems. Sometimes the very opportunity to complain is worth a lot.
I try to watch out for whining like "what fucked up weather", I try to learn to accept circumstances, like in meditation you accept some kind of interference. I treat other people's whining carefully, often friends are really just fucked and they need to talk it out.
But the worst form of whining is throwing away bad beats. We already remember bad things better, and whining about it is the path to eternal tilt. And none of the players will be surprised by your bad beats. So whine in moderation.
Anton sandr1x // Sandrix's Diary: Chuikoreg Chronicles
I remember a meme:
– How is a poker player different from a dog?
– A dog stops whining after 10 years
I was born in the USSR and was raised according to the principle "men don't cry", and any manifestation of emotion is weakness. Which, of course, is nonsense, but many of us grew up in such an environment. I rather dislike whining, but not even because of my upbringing, but because it works like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whining drives you into a spiral – you begin to feel sorry for yourself and drive yourself, this makes you even sadder and so on in a cycle. It can be difficult to get out of this labyrinth of despondency on your own.
Therefore, I stopped whining even to myself, I try to catch such thoughts and not go down this path. Of course, this does not always work out. During the last major downswing, I lived in Phuket with a partner, and he had to valiantly take on the full force of my whining, for which I thank him very much, I could not have done it without him.
Previously, I dumped all my worries about the cruelty of dispersion on my wife, and once I even tried to whine to my parents. It helped so much. When a person has not unloaded as many dispa cars as you, he will not be able to understand you, even if he wants to. Therefore, there is little point in whining to people without several years of a poker career behind them, unless you feel better when you speak out and let off some steam. This didn't help me – when you pour out your soul, but they don't understand you, even though they try to sympathize and support, it seemed to become harder for me. Therefore, if you really whine, then only to your colleagues!
For myself, I realized that whining definitely bothers me. Especially uncontrollable, when you are constantly wailing and whining in your head, feeling sorry for yourself and increasing the feeling of injustice of poker and the world. It's like handing over the keys to your life to someone.
So try to avoid whining. It's difficult, but deliberate practice can help. You can remind yourself that everything passes, that everything is not so bad. It also helps to look at the yearly chart. However, the whole year before last was terrible for me, so I had to look at several years at once. If you look at your entire career, it turns out that you beat the game and somehow provide for yourself. Analyzing the game with a friend or coach also works well; there is an awareness that everything is not fatal, and mistakes are correctable. This shifts the focus from experiences and directs it to activity. You have a choice where to direct your attention, if you whine, then it usually doesn't end well, it will only get worse. If you focus on the global picture, and it usually doesn't look as bad as it seems in the moment, then you can start making plans and taking action. You don't have to take action right now. It might be worth taking a break, no matter how trite it may sound. Recovery, both mental and physical, is a huge part of progress, you need to give yourself time for it.
At the beginning of my career, it was as if I was allergic to other people's whining. Perhaps because of my upbringing, like if I don't whine, then no one should. The more I understood psychology and emotional intelligence, the more compassion and understanding I became. It still doesn't bring me any pleasure to listen to complaints about how the world is unfair, but it no longer causes rejection. I realized that whining is a natural part of human nature, and I believe that people are beautiful, so there can be something good in whining. Therefore, now I treat whining without judgment and sympathize as much as I can. The main thing is to know when to stop.
Sasha shpr0ta // Do your duty, come what may.
I divide whining into poker whining and whining about life. Whining to pity the variance, posting a minus chart, showing how you were outbid on the river with two outs – proven ways to end a downstreak.
But I rarely whine about life's difficulties; I try to restrain myself. Probably because I don't like being pitied. Usually, people complain when they want support and want to be patted on the head, but I don't need that.
I react to other people's whining much calmer than to my own. I am an empath, I can empathize, and I always try to help the person who decided to talk to me. The exception is when this whining becomes too much. When a person whines at every meeting, it causes irritation, the desire to help disappears, and the mood deteriorates. One gets the feeling that a person whines not because something happened to him, but simply because he really likes to whine. If this happens infrequently, then it is absolutely normal and happens to everyone.
Ilya KARACHEVSKII // Young Ego
I don't like whining, but when I'm exhausted, it turns on automatically for me. In such situations, I try not to hold back, but to pay maximum attention to my condition, take care of rest and recovery, so as not to reach the point of exhaustion. I believe that whining takes away your concentration and prevents you from focusing on the current hand, and this has a detrimental effect on the game.
Last year I wrote on this topic on my blog, and after a while, I still like these posts.
By the way, an interesting idea here is that whining is a harmful mental habit that has helped me in downswings before. I didn't want to earn a lot, and I could easily afford to just whine during the bad parts, like some streamer playing to the crowd. Now, having realized that this significantly reduces the wait in the most sensitive segments for win rate, I realize that I don't need it.
There are a number of benefits to whining. Firstly, this is a way to play distance. There is a contact with another addiction *poker is pain* and through traditional genetic patience the desired 50k hands per month are played with such crutches. Otherwise, recovering and closing the session at will would be at most 30k hands in such a month.
The key problem here is in the mathematical expectation because even for such a disastrous month, +-20k$ of profit came out in eur + rb.
That is, the stumbling block is that in terms of money it is even profitable to suffer like this, and this is something that is no longer interesting to me as a tool for going through a downswing.
Secondly, it saves energy. The brain turns off my favorite system 2 and calmly goes into afk grind/whine mode for any bad runout, instead of directing energy to the quality of the poker game, because there is no need to strain for whining.
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Arkhip ButovoEPT // ROAD TO THE DREAM
I don't particularly like whining, but during periods when everything is going very badly in the game, I use this technique – I dump the negativity on the blog and somehow my soul becomes lighter. Many people in our profession have similar problems, so we can find understanding and support.
If you whine too long and often, it negatively affects the entire body. You need to get out of this state as quickly as possible, because if it drags on, then you and all the people around you will suffer from endless negativity.
If whining is a cry from a person's soul, then I understand it, because I myself have found myself in similar situations many times. If this happens all the time, then I try not to deal with negativity again.
Artem For2nArtem // t.me/For2artem
Whining is good for your health, but bad for your friends) I can whine, but I quickly pull myself together. I will always listen and support guys who don't use it on a regular basis.
There are quite a few poker players who are 84% whining and then post 10bb/100 charts. There is no need to turn into such people! The dialogues of the whiners are painful to watch, as if you were unwittingly witnessing a competition to see who is worse off.
We grit our teeth and move on!
